Seven Things Conservatives Should Be Thankful For
If you listen to the nattering nabobs of social media negativity, and you shouldn’t, you might get the false impression that our dreams of a conservative future are imploding. You would be wrong. There is a lot for conservatives to be thankful for, and we’re winning. To paraphrase noted tax reform advocate Wesley Snipes in Passenger 57, always bet on red.
No. 1: Be Thankful That Hillary Is Not Our President.
Every day, it is a joy to awaken, unlike Hillary Clinton, without a hangover. Oh yes, and also to awaken knowing that Felonia von Pantsuit is not, and will never be, our president.
Can you imagine if she were? She is as vindictive as she is stupid
No. 2: Be Thankful That We Now Know The Truth About So Many “Conservatives.”
Besides defeating the chardonnay-swilling Mayonnaise Chavez, Donald Trump’s other great achievement has been to cause so many prominent Fredocons to show who they really are – and it isn’t “conservative.”
No. 3: Be Thankful For Neil Gorsuch.
We are going to take back the judiciary. That’s huge and it’s already happening. When the Never Trumpers try to mock our delight in having President Trump at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue by saying “But Gorsuch!”, our reply must be, “Damn right, but Gorsuch!”
Consider the alternative. Do you have any doubt, any at all, that a Clinton court would discover that the Constitution’s penumbras and emanations mean that our right of free speech, our right to practice our religion, and our right to keep and bear arms, don’t actually exist? Any doubt at all?
No. 4: Be Thankful That Conservatives Have A Voice.
Between social media and conservative media that has not gone full liberal – never go full liberal – we have ways to organize and communicate. That was not always so, and they are under attack now
The media allows us to bypass enemy gatekeepers; we don’t have to ask anyone’s permission to publish awesome conservative pop culture that infuriates the stinking liberals.
No. 5: Be Thankful We Have Fewer Perverts Than The Liberals.
Yeah, we have problems. Roy Moore selfishly remains in what was once a sure-thing race. But when he (probably) wins, it’ll be because the Gropeocrats tossed him a life preserver in the shape of a coke-addled hack from Minnesota. Those “Senator Jailbait is the face of the GOP!” ads are gonna fall a little flat in 2018 when we haven’t seen resignations from Senator Stuart Smarmy and Senator Hung Jury.
Just be thankful we don’t have the problems liberals have. We conservatives always knew that liberalism was a giant scam designed to allow elitists to take power and exercise it without accountability; the left has now decided to make sure everyone knows it. From Kennedy to Clinton to Franken, from Fatty Arbuckle to Fatty Weinstein, liberal bona fides earned them a lifetime of free gropes…until now. Now liberalism is being exposed as the giant lie it always was.
No. 6: Be Thankful For Dogs.
Because dogs, which are the most conservative of pets, are cool. Especially Bitey.
No. 7: Be Thankful That We Have All The Guns.
Yes, we normals feel a certain tranquility knowing that, no matter what happens, at the end of the day, the liberal fascists can’t actually make us do anything we don’t want to do. As Mao noted, “[Political] Power grows from the barrel of a gun.” Mao got that right, if nothing else – the fact that the people of the United States retain the right to defend themselves from the kind of leftist oppression we’ve seen in Venezuela and other hellholes liberals swoon over during their short Potemkin village visits means that the only way they get their way is if they convince us to go along with it. They can’t make us do anything, and it gnaws at them.
Nope, Kaden and Ashleigh the baristas are unlikely to gear up and start the hard work of taming us uppity normals. Their only weapon system is whining, and until we see a 62 grain tweet with a lead core and steel penetrator that flies over 900 feet per second, they aren’t imposing anything on us without our consent.