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I wrote Dave a very nice note, telling him that we would not be comfortable with him at the wedding and that he would not be invited. Dave did not respond and did not attend.\u00a0Afterward, I sent him a card and pictures from the wedding, all in an effort to make him feel like he was not being totally left out.\u00a0I have not heard from Dave since then. When my siblings found out what I had done they were angry with me.\u00a0That is just one problem.<\/p>\n
Another problem is that Dave has not sent my daughter and son-in-law a wedding gift.\u00a0In the past, Dave has given family members wedding checks in excess of $1,000.\u00a0She says she was counting on receiving the same type of gift.\u00a0My husband says I should drop it \u2013 but I can\u2019t. Dave\u2019s behavior is upsetting and embarrassing to me.\u00a0How can I get my brother to recognize and change his petty behavior?<\/p>\n
Please don\u2019t tell me that I\u2019m the one who started this by not inviting my brother to the wedding. After all, he\u2019s a grown man, while my daughter is young and just starting out.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Angry in Philadelphia<\/p>\n
Dear Angry:<\/b> Let\u2019s recap: Your delicate daughter is too frightened to be near a conservative voter to allow her uncle \u201cDave\u201d to attend her wedding.\u00a0She then asks you to do her dirty work for her, and (of course) you do!<\/p>\n
Fine \u2013 so far, we have only a bride\u2019s prerogative to create her own guest list, and her mother\u2019s choice to protect her from any consequences, which is your prerogative.\u00a0You then rub the excluded guest\u2019s nose in this wedding by sending him photos of the event to which he has pointedly not been invited.<\/p>\n
But it\u2019s your second \u201cproblem\u201d which I believe will enter the Bridezilla Hall of Infamy.\u00a0In short: Brides who are too afraid of family members to invite them to a family wedding don\u2019t then get the pleasure of receiving their money.<\/p>\n
You seem almost as afraid of your daughter as she is of your brother, but I hope you\u2019ll find a way to courageously tell her that the Bank of Uncle Dave is closed, at least to your branch of the family.\u00a0So far, your silent brother is the only family member who is behaving appropriately. He\u2019s steering clear, which is exactly what you have asked him to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t know whether this is real or not, but it sure sounds nice. Ask Amy: We told him not to come to the wedding, but we still wanted his money Dear Amy:\u00a0Four months before my daughter\u2019s wedding, she told me that her uncle (my brother, \u201cDave\u201d) would make her feel unsafe if he was … Continue reading “”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,88,86],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-94047","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-crap-for-brains","category-irony","category-just-desserts"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94047","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=94047"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94047\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":94048,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/94047\/revisions\/94048"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=94047"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=94047"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/milesfortis.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=94047"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}