Today, I got mugged.
He pointed a knife at me and said, Your money or your life. I told him I was married so I didn’t have money or a life.
He gave me a hug and we cried together.
It was beautiful.
— Old Salty Marine (@BamaSaltyMarine) May 25, 2026
Category: Comic Relief O’ The Day
The Iraqi Air Force is down to their last guy.🤣
pic.twitter.com/sYK1BD5RA6— Buzz Patterson (@BuzzPatterson) May 8, 2026
Translated: “My friend has a small farm, but he suffers from a small problem, which is that he is always being chased by wild boars that naturally live around his farm. So he decided to get a dog to help him drive the boars away. The dog’s reaction to the first chase:”
🗣️: صديقي لديه مزرعة صغيرة، ولكنه يعاني من مشكلة صغيرة، وهي أنه يتعرض دائما للمطاردة من الخنازير البرية التي تتواجد بشكل طبيعي حول مزرعته، فقرر إحضار كلب لمساعدته في طرد الخنازير
رد فعل الكلب مع أول مطاردة: pic.twitter.com/qLjbWpmeiL
— TAKTO (@Ne_zaha) April 30, 2026
If you are on a long ride it is good to be able to have snacks. 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/WF9pTAbFhZ
— Susan (@emma6USA) March 31, 2026
That’s a Ford Pinto for those who might not recognize the make & model.
An engineer dies and ends up in Hell.
Engineers don’t usually end up there, so the Devil is pretty surprised.
Hell, as expected, is a mess — the AC is broken, the pool is empty, the roads are falling apart, and everything is miserable.
After some time, the engineer starts fixing things. The AC works again, the pool is full, roads are repaired, and suddenly Hell is… comfortable.
Eventually, God looks down and notices people in Hell actually enjoying themselves. Confused, He calls the Devil and asks what’s going on.
The Devil replies,
“That engineer you sent us has been fixing things. He’s doing wonders down here!”
God exclaims,
“WHAT?! Engineers don’t go to Hell! That must have been a mistake. You have to give him back: he belongs in Heaven!”
The Devil crosses his arms and says,
“No way. We like our engineer.”
God says,
“If you don’t give him back, I’ll sue you!”
The Devil grins and replies,
“Yeah, good luck with that? Where are you going to get a lawyer?”

Congress Prepares To Pivot From Doing Nothing Because Of The Shutdown To Doing Nothing Because They’re Congress https://t.co/U9FQCFuUnI pic.twitter.com/icNuKnIh6y
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) November 10, 2025
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey
Pokey.But I've turned myself around and that's what it's all about.
I’ll be here all night! 🤣
— American Patriot 🇺🇸 (@JWe9378) November 10, 2025
OK, WHO DID THIS???🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/l4BogRsL61
— il Donaldo Trumpo (@PapiTrumpo) October 23, 2025
Bill Cosby Joins Hamas So Feminists Will Stop Condemning Him For Rape https://t.co/Qadwonzt4X pic.twitter.com/CAVTMtwPg6
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) October 7, 2025

I don't care what anyone says about Jimmy Kimmel. The man saved my life.
I had spent 6 weeks in a coma after a terrible accident. When a visitor to my hospital room turned on Jimmy Kimmel,
I had to get up and change the channel.— Clinton (@614clinton) September 23, 2025


I just saved a dog that was locked in a car. The car was running and the AC was on but Taylor Swift was playing on the radio
— 🇺🇸🙏Chris White🙏🇺🇸 (@PISDI94_96) June 24, 2025
Hamas Agrees To Surrender If Europe Will Take Greta Thunberg Backhttps://t.co/qbt2Nl2ZOL pic.twitter.com/Cy7mbft6LW
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) June 3, 2025
