Category: You Can’t Make This Up

Zelenskyy Pulls a George Costanza, Claims He Was Just Kidding When He Quit the Peace Talks.

The headline is a reference to this Seinfeld episode.

What? That? I’m a joker, you know that. I kid!

Zelensky reaches out to Trump after “regrettable” meeting
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky has extended an olive branch to President Donald Trump following what he called a “regrettable” meeting in Washington. Zelensky thanked Trump for past U.S. support and reiterated Ukraine’s willingness to sign a mineral agreement “any time and in any convenient format.” His remarks come as the U.S. has paused military aid to Ukraine, and Trump has signaled a preference for peace negotiations.

Key Details:

Zelensky acknowledged that the Friday meeting at the White House did not go as planned and expressed a desire for “constructive” future cooperation.

He highlighted Trump’s past support for Ukraine, particularly his decision to provide Javelin missiles, as a pivotal moment.

The U.S. paused all military aid to Ukraine on Monday, with Trump telling Zelensky to return “when he was ready for peace.”

Here’s the statement this stupid actor posted on X:

Volodymyr Zelenskyy / Володимир Зеленський @ZelenskyyUaI would like to reiterate Ukraine’s commitment to peace.

None of us wants an endless war. Ukraine is ready to come to the negotiating table as soon as possible to bring lasting peace closer. Nobody wants peace more than Ukrainians. My team and I stand ready to work under President Trump’s strong leadership to get a peace that lasts.

LOL. Please.

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BLUF
Cardinal Dolan may one day discover that he was unwittingly encouraging elements that no one, churchman or otherwise, should have encouraged. By then, however, it could be too late.

Cardinal Dolan Hails ‘Our Islamic Brothers and Sisters,’ Calls Ash Wednesday ‘Our Ramadan’

On Friday, Timothy Cardinal Dolan, the Archbishop of New York, posted on X: “Ramadan starts tomorrow! Ramadan is the season of penance for our Islamic brothers and sisters. Do they ever take it seriously! I tell you that because Ash Wednesday is coming up – that’s kind of like our Ramadan.”

These generous statements were entirely in keeping with the spirit of ecumenism that Pope Francis has advocated so assiduously, and so the cardinal’s words came as no surprise, but their graciousness was no guarantor of their accuracy. Unfortunately, virtually every part of Dolan’s statement was wrong, and some of it was dangerously misleading.

Ramadan is not, first off, exactly a “season of penance.” It does involve self-denial and cultivation of a sense of self-control, although the gorging all night somewhat mitigates the ascetic effect of the fasting all day, the focus is not primarily upon penance. Nobody “gives something up for Ramadan.” Ramadan superficially resembles Lent in that it is a season for Muslims to redouble their efforts to please Allah, but in Islam, this takes on a radically different form from efforts to please God in Christianity. (Note for those who need it: yes, “Allah” is the Arabic word for God — actually “the God,” and yes, Arabic-speaking Christians do use the word, although some, notably Copts, shy away from doing so because of its association with the God of the Qur’an. I am using it here to refer to that God.)

The highest form of service to Allah, according to Islam’s prophet Muhammad, is jihad, which principally involves warfare against unbelievers. A hadith has a Muslim asking Muhammad: “Instruct me as to such a deed as equals Jihad (in reward).” Muhammad replied, “I do not find such a deed.” (Bukhari 4.52.44)

So what better way to increase one’s devotion to Allah than by waging jihad? Every Ramadan, therefore, we see an increase in jihad attacks. This is hardly something that Cardinal Dolan should be celebrating, but of course, he is certain that Islam is a religion of peace, and that anybody who tells him otherwise is just an “Islamophobe.”

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And With That Receipt, We Learn That USAID Paid for a Terrorist’s College Tuition

You cannot make this stuff up? USAID, which blessedly is no more, paid for a radical Islamic terrorist’s college tuition. Past receipts show that the former agency footed the bill for Anwar Awlaki’s higher education. Awlaki lied about the country of his birth to obtain funds for college through the State Department. Awlaki later became the point of the lance for al-Qaeda’s digital jihad arm. Investigative Catherine Herridge has more:

Looks like USAID supported college tuition for Anwar Aulaqi (Awlaki) who later became a high level al Qaeda terrorist. Aulaqi falsely claimed he was born in Yemen to secure the financial help via the State Dept. when he was actually a US citizen, born in Las Cruces New Mexico.

Aulaqi would later develop close ties with several 9/11 hijackers and attain leadership status in AQ’s Yemen affiliate. Aulaqi was the godfather of the digital jihad that leveraged his writings and the web to radicalize Americans to AQ’s cause. Aulaqi became the first American targeted for death by the CIA.

In 2011, he was killed in a US drone strike.

 

And yet, some media figures claim they cannot find any waste or abuse at USAID.

Yeah, again, the legacy media is a joke.

Colorado Supreme Court Rules Elephants Are Not Human and Must Stay in a Zoo.

One of these days, one of these animal rights nutcases will come before an equally nutty judge and win a case that frees some wild animal from a zoo.

Fortunately, that day has not yet arrived. The Colorado Supreme Court ruled 6-0 on Tuesday that six elephants in the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo cannot be transferred to an elephant sanctuary based on the legal theory that they have the same rights as human beings.

The court said the decision “does not turn on our regard for these majestic animals.”

“Instead, the legal question here boils down to whether an elephant is a person,” the court said. “And because an elephant is not a person, the elephants here do not have standing to bring a habeas corpus claim.”

You have to admit that it’s a very clever fundraising strategy by the Nonhuman Rights Project, which has sued a dozen times over the last decade trying to free elephants and chimpanzees from various zoos. They haven’t once been successful, but that doesn’t matter as long as the cash keeps coming in.

The elephants — Missy, Kimba, Lucky, LouLou and Jambo — had no intelligible comment.

That doesn’t mean they can’t communicate. Researchers have discovered an incredible number of sounds that elephants make at an amazing number of frequencies. We don’t know what they’re saying, of course, but that it’s a sophisticated example of cognitive thinking is undeniable.

However, until elephants can submit a legal brief on their own, they are out of luck in American courts.

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