How to wash a cat:

  1. Thoroughly clean toilet and add desired amount of shampoo, leaving both lids open

  2. Find, catch, and soothe the cat while you carry him to the bathroom

  3. In one fluid motion, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on them to prevent escape. Make sure you don’t get any part of your body close to the edge because your cat may try to grab on to anything in reach)

  4. The cat will self-agitate which will create ample suds. Do not worry about the sounds the cat is making- he is actually enjoying this

  5. When you think your cat is clean, flush the toilet four or five times to provide a power rinse

  6. Have someone open the front door and make sure no humans or animals are in the way

  7. Stand back and quickly open the toilet lids. Your now clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and out the front door, drying itself in the process

Sincerely, The Dog